I wonder if I’m getting worse as I get older!!
I used to listen so intently! I have good ears. When I worked at Trio, we were trained in how to listen for cutlery dropping, both inside and outside the restaurant, so that we could quickly get some fresh stuff to the customer before they had a chance to ask! Same with the sound of the chairs sliding on the floor – if a customer was getting up, we needed to be by their side, know what was their desire … how could we help?! Bring a bill or point them in the direction of the bathrooms? All part of what makes it the best place for breakfast Sydney (SUUUUCH good food!)!
But it did taint my dining experiences elsewhere. For years afterwards I was forever hearing other customers’ cutlery dropping, service bells pinging and phones ringing!! I remember once freaking myself out because I was eating at Pompeii and someone in Hurricanes, the restaurant next door, dropped a fork. Yep, we got to distinguishing which type of cutlery! I didn’t WANT these thoughts in my mind anymore, they were of NO benefit to me now!!
It’s wearing off over the years! However, I was recently treated to breakfast on the house at Trio, as while I was chatting with the Ronen, (the owner) I couldn’t help fretting because the phone was ringing and I was desperate to either answer it or ask one of the gorgeous girls to get it!! This was what was expected of me in my role there (I left 6 years ago!!). He felt so responsible for my psychosis that chalked my breakfast to the house! Hahahaha!!
So these days, I work to consciously block a lot of external stimulus … hope I haven’t thrown the baby out with the bathwater!!
This is a short Ted Talk with some interesting points on how to listen for BETTER COMMUNICATIONS.
“Personal Broadcasting”!! LOVE this term!! I do a bit of this from time to time! Then I call in my Personal Editor – that’s usually Mrs. Yoga – she’s great for getting me to listen in to what I’m doing and reminding me of what is necessary, and to let go of what is not!
5 Ways To Listen For Better Communications
1. Silence – consciously make room for at least 3 minutes of silence (or at least quiet) in your day.
2. The Mixer – when in a place where there is noise, try to hear/listen in to as many different sounds and channels of sound within the noise.
3. Savouring – enjoying the mundane sounds – the tumble dryer etc … isn’t it a blessing!
4. Listening Positions – the idea of moving your listening position to what’s appropriate to what you’re listening to – active/passive, reductive/expansive, critical/empathetic, etc. etc.
5. R.A.S.A. an acronym (and also the Sanskrit word for juice or essence)
R: RECEIVE – pay attention to the person
A: APPRECIATE – make little sounds of appreciation, ‘hmmm, mmm, uhuh’ and the like
S: SUMMARISE – the use of the word ‘SO’ is important here … summarise what you’ve heard to get clarity and understand each other
A: ASK – ask questions afterwards
I thought this was a really helpful lil video, and a good one to watch every now and then as a reminder – to be a good listener is a skill after all, something that needs to be nurtured, honed and practised.
Hope it’s helpful for you too! Good luck!
Oh and check out TRIO for a breakfast someday, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed!